The inside of me

However big my smile may be,
However loud my laugh may be,
However happy my eyes may seem,
However high I may be,
However much crap my words may have,
However much food I put into my mouth,
However close I may seem with you,
However normal I may seem,
Truth is my heart is hurting badly,
My smile is just a cover up,
My laughs are just a way of speech,
My eyes tear at the sight of you,
The crap I talk bout is just a way for me to restrain myself from telling you how much I care,
The food I stuff into my mouth are all forced,
Me being normal is that you'll get the picture that I'm alright,
But I realize,
I can't fake the fact of whether I love you or not.