what a week

well...beginning this week dah mula fight wit jeeva..haih...then everything fell on wednesday or tuesday..forgot which day..but all i remember was there was a day where i cried the WHOLE day..since nite,till nite..ahaha..so i was thinking of everything la..haih..i tot of wat shan said bout mayb this is not the time...cuz if n wen i go coll..the guy there may actually really understand wat im goin thru..so yea...so i told him..n all..this part i dun wana say la..cuz..haha..dun wana get into anymore drama..

then ysterday was nurin n dada's last day...T.T...went amcorp..altho my mom dah pesan CANNOT go..but wtv la..haih...wanted to go bk skol..but it was raining..so took cab..haha..no choice..then had cake...n had it all over our faces also..haha..then wen it was time to go..damn...crying fest ady..cried damn kaw...haih...

today..b.ball la..normal..training was better since tis time i tak naik angin..haha...then on the court got the guys la...but wtv la..haha..but some of em quite good looking also..haha..but too busy wit my team man..haha..but got time too peak abit la..haha

p.s...i n him sdh takde..in case u guys asking..reason is cuz..
1) it's not the time
2)v dun even really noe each other
3)if it was meant to be..then it will be..

future now becoming real

What is it that you call a person whose life is now nothing but school and co-curricular? Lifeless. No fun, no parties, no hanging out. Nothing but studying, homework and revisions. At the most is a trip to the park and a game of basketball, but after that, it’s back to the school books. Well what can I say except ‘I need that scholarship.’ they always say to strive and work for and towards your dream. Well, here I am now, working, striving, aiming for my dream. A dream that won’t be helped by my dad. So my only way into a college? A scholarship. But hey! Try doin’ so with your classmates making a racket, sabotaging every studying moment. Try doin’ so when they don’t like the teacher, so they do things so that the teacher may not start lessons. Want to know who these delinquents are? People whose parents can afford to send them overseas to study. People whose parents can afford to send them to good, expensive, well-known colleges. People who need not worry how they going to get into a college. People who need not worry bout the fees. People who need not worry bout which college to go to. People who need not worry on fighting for a scholarship. People who can afford to waste their time, hang out, to relax or to even NOT study. You know what? I’M NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!! I’m relying on my SPM results to get a scholarship to get into a college. I’m not even saying which college. I’m saying A college. The main problem is my fees. Hey guys!! My dad ain’ paying for my college fees ya’ll. So that means I need to get at least 9 As. And now that the marking system is different. I’m going to need 9A+s. and how in the world am I to do that when there isn’t any class going on?! Every time you guys delay studying time, it makes me want to cry. But what am I suppose to do? Curse at you guys? You guys are my friends mans. Right now, I don’t know if it’s a blessing to get into the class I am in now, or a curse, or just another challenge from God. You guys have no idea how lucky you are to not have to worry about where you’re going to go for you college. Or, where and how you’re gna’ live when your dad kicks you out? Or, how you going to survive? Or, where you’re gna’ live? When and where you gna’ work to pay your daily expenses? How you gna’ pay for your school things? I know I should be placing my faith in the Lord, cause he’ll provide for everything. But everything just seems so real now that I can’t lack. Right now I wish the school had a different arts class or the people in the class have the heart to study. If any of you people are reading.. I’m sorry.. I apologize.. but it’s just how I feel.

Signing off,

Lynette Lee,

8.05p.m.,

23/1/2010

1 simple question, 10 reasons to cry

Why? Why in the world am I starting to shed tears again for you? What is it about you that I cannot let go? You little immature donkey, you took away heck of a big piece of my life. I went through hell, burned in the flames, and suffered its torture, all because of you. And just when I was moving on, you suddenly show up again. I can’t place my finger on what is it that I can’t forget bout you. Is it your presence? Your immaturity? Your jokes? Or is it that I still have feelings for you? Here I am, in the middle of the night, or should I say morning, writing, again for the second time about you. For some reason, all I actually want to know is why? Why shun me for such a long time? Why?! Why did you do that?! You say it was cause you were immature, but knowing you it’s a lot more than that. I pondered over that thought more than I’ve ever thought bout anything else in the world. Funny thing is, I STILL think bout it, from twilight to morning, form dawn to night. That question is still stuck in my head like a parasite. They say ‘life is what we make of it, always has been, always will be’, well, guess what man, you took more than half of it. You were the first person ever that I’ve told EVERYTHING and anything. From all my secrets to the nots. From my problems to my worries. And when I needed your advice the most, what did I get? Only your insults and your doubts, making my problems nothing but worse, like adding salt to my open wound. All I ever wished was for you to be there for me, like a true friend. To treat me like a friend. I never wished for more, even when my heart fell into your grasp. I’ve cried a sea amount of tears all for you. The scars you left on me is not healing, in fact, it’s eating me up. This can be said the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. There’s so mush even time can’t erase. You! You’re driving out of my mind! You took so much from me, and just left, not even saying goodbye. The last time I’ve actually cried this much this hard was the last time I laid a blade on my arm. Everyday from that day I wish that I would get an explanation from you, but I guess that was just a wish upon a wishing star. I want to know why. The only question in my head is why. Why lie about the youth? Why ask me to talk to him, explain to him when you yourself did not? Why suddenly ignore him? Why pretend? But the ONE question I really want to know, is why avoid me when all I did was ask them to come to my concert, then when you stop avoiding me, you put the blame on me? What is it going through your head? What am I to you? You messenger? Your toy? Your punching bag? You treated me like a toy, when you felt like it, you talked to me, when you didn’t, you avoid me then tell me it’s my fault. Just so you know, I, Lynette Lee Yuen Ching am a human being! I have feelings, I have a heart. I guess what I really was to you was an annoying girl who was nothing in your life. You were the very first person outside school who knew my history. You’re the one person, whose number I STILL remember till now after centuries without talking to you.

Signing off,

Lynette Lee,

3.12a.m.,

24/12/2009

tears,blood,sweat...

well..i starting to fruss...haih...i wana do graphic..or best is fashion..but then prob is tat i sked tat i wun be able to succeed in the future..haih..why la muz go thru all these?tink bout tis tink bout tat..haih..i wana pres-sue my dream..but i sked if i dun succeed n all...den wasted la..haih..stupid la!..super fruss now..haih..Lord plz help me...

Bass Snare High-hat toms..play me that song

well..skol has started..but not tat busy yet la..haha..was in Science 5 then appealed to Arts2..was praying bout it..say that if i get the arts class then i'll go for bible knowledge..haha..so now im gna go b.k...

hmm..wat else ah?..oh ya..i just came bk frm gslc youth sunday worship practice..was there to teach the drummer la..major retard la..haha..was laughin half the time..he so blur..and can only do basic four beat..so even the planetshakers song oso same beat..haha..but got bit of twist la..haha..he did a build up he sdh high..lol..yea..dun worry bro..will be praying for u..jus pray to God to work in u..then u will be ok..=]...

other things ah?..haha...since im bk to skol i cant go out b.ball everyday anymore..n Bi is working..so...v can only meet on lyk ...sundays?...he say he changing job la..at least he not working in the pub anymore..==..i duno how i gna tahan wen he go N.S...=[...gna die..haha..nvm la...have to get use to it anyway..haih..

Please don't leave me hangin

so..today went to church..lyk usual..but 2day wen i woke up..my bed just felt soooo good i wanted to continue sleeeeepiiinnngggg...=[..anyway..went to church like usual la..haha..aftrer tat all same la..but today haha ah lim dress sama - sama wit crystal..haha..told ah lok 1st..he heard only laugh damn loud...llol..haha..yea..funny stuff la..then..normal la..church n all..haha..i seriously duno wat to post man..hahaa..

bring down the 9 in 2009

sry guys..blog super dead..just super lazy wana update la..haha..my fon now inside alot of pix..suppose to post in the blog..but..then lazy to do so la..haha..yea..new year ady..so fast..T.T...haha...skol stars on monday..i still questioning myself wat stream to go..haha...gna die la..haha..well..i new year..a new leaf..haha..just make the best out of it..=]..